Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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