so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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