Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
