so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
