i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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