cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
