Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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