The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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