you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
