God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm always down for nudity.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
