it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize