I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
