Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
