Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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