look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
