I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize