last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
