new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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