I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
