now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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