im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
