I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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