So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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