wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
