I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
