She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
