Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So squirting runs in the family.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
