We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
