Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
