that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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