Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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