am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
