It's like a parade of train wrecks.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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