Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
