So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
