Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
