You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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