Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you have to choose: penises or morals?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
