so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
