Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
