In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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