Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Randomize
