Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
