All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
