why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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