I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
