I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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