I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
