you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
