I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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