Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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