i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
