pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
