I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
high people should be assigned attendants
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
