I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
