Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
