Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you will always have a special place in my vag
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
