The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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