Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
