so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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