summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You ruined the universe
Randomize
