did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
